All right, I take it back. This really isn't the least flattering sweater on the planet.
It's fine for what I wanted it for: a warm sweater to wear around the house over pajamas. I threw it in with a load of laundry over the weekend and it fulled the fabric nicely so the differences in gauges aren't so apparent and it gave the piece some structure. It wouldn't quite stop a bullet, but maybe an arrow. Or a bb.